Overall Rating: 2.0/5
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
Gore Factor: Lots of cringe-worthy slasher gore.
Rewatchability: TBD (Not Looking foreward to it.)
Watch If: You need a quick and dirty bad slasher film (Stupid teenagers, bad gore, no surprises)
Not If: You prefer your symbolism... *ahem* subtle.
Similar To: Saw 11, Friday the 13th
The Bare Bones: A group of friends on their way to a football game end up stranded outside a small town with a sinister secret.
I think there's a reason that horror is a great place for actors to start up. There's an amount of tension that is lost when you recognize the people on screen. But if I told you that Paris Hilton and Chad Michael Murray were in a horror movie... yeah.
That being said it is hard to fault the actors for a generally cringe educing, ham-handed excuse for a film. The acting wasn't great, with most of the characters seeming flat and more or less unconcerned, but the movie was bad as a whole, and I find myself feeling more pity for the actors who took these roles than for the characters in crisis which they attempted to portray.
But... Oh, god... where to begin?
The "symbolism." My god. Subtlety is a foreign concept here. This film will beat you over the back of the head with a few concepts. Like (Oh look, the sculpture is being cleaved in two, just like their relationship.)
... I just... I struggle to articulate the sheer obviousness. It was so bad at hints and suggestions that I am more impressed by the films lack of self awareness than by anything else.
Also, here's a short tangent about form and the basic manifestation of horror. (You don't have to read it.)
All horror represents, to some degree, the battle between the Yonic and the Phalic. But, my god, be less obvious. More slight psychological reference, less awkward teenager drawing a snootch. I mean, for god's sake, Oedipus, calm the fuck down.
So, I like a slasher film as much as the next girl, but if you're going that direction with a horror film no what you're doing. And I don't mean that you have to be perfectly anatomically accurate, I mean, I liked Hellraiser and god knows that's not how the human muscle structure works. But at least do some research. At the very least be consistent because:
1. Those scissors are not sharp enough for that?
2. Skin doesn't work that way, and neither does wax?
3. Why did that not kill you?
4. Why did that kill you?
5. How did that not break your scissors?
6. Why isn't she bleeding?
7. How the hell is she still running?
Yeah... This is what I took away from the film. Not suspense, not any sense of investment or caring. This film as a whole just felt like a total waste of time.
I remember when this came out, and was super popular. Why? Please, comment and enlighten me, because Freaking Holland has pumped out better stuff crap than this. Every Part of this film ruined every other part. It was, in it's truest form, really, really bad. The beginning is nigh unbearable, the middle is nothing but ill-concocted gore, and the ending is just plain stupid. There were no saving graces for this one.
But it does fit solidly into the "Cheap Thrills" slasher category. And While I didn't enjoy the film, I had a lot of fun hating it.